hey hey hey, firstly, i need to apologise, i always say i'll write again soon, but i never do, so im sorry lol!

anyway hope you are all well and happy, im doing pretty good myself, me and david are doin amazing!! after lots of talking and spending time together and putting in a bit more effort, we are slowly but surely getting there, and im glad!

everything else is good, and i cant complain!

im eriting this whilst im watching nip/tuck and i really dont know what to write lol, i feel like a right tit typing because i dont really have anything much to say *god im boring arent i?* anyway, because i dont have anything to say im just gonna go and carry on watchin my nip/tuck (which im lovin i might add lol)

so yeah, im still here, ive not fallen off the face of the earth or died (yet) lol!!!

knowing me i wont write again till christmas, so if im as unreliable as i think i am i'm gonna wish you all a merry christmas now - "merry christmas guys" all the best xxxxxxxxxx

hey all, haha i say this everytime, but sorry ive not written in a while! i have no excuse other than i couldnt be bothered lol......sorry!

anyway, hmmm.... what is there to report?

not much, my life hasnt really been that eventful!

just the usual really, workin n c'n my buds! things hav developed in 'that' area again, i know the other half of 'that' scenario is quite pleased lol!

OHHH MYYY!!!!!! the main reason i am writing this blog 2day .... my 21st is in less than a month (15th of october) YYYAAAAAYYYY!!!! i cant wait!!! im hiring out a pink stretch hummer for the following saturday (18th of october), its a 16 seater limo and its THE BEST! its picking us all up from a local pub (so we can totally show off lol!!) and then its taking us to 'The Birdcage' in Manchester, im soooooooo excited!!!

Phil is maybe gonna reserve us tables in there too, which means we'll be VIP's and we'll get priority entry, so no ques for us lol!

its gonna be such a great night out, ive not been out for aggggggges either lol, so its gonna be even better for me lol!!!

ive seen a dress online, from lipsy.co.uk and I WANT IT!! im going to go to selfridges in the trafford centre this week to see if they have it in, and that way if they dont i will have plenty of time to find something as nice lol!!

i've also seen the shoes, from faith, and they are gawjusss lo!!! David is buying me my outfit, for my birthday, he's such a darlin lol!

anyway i've vented all my excitement for one day lol!!!

i'll write when ive got my outfit to let u all know how amazing it is lol!!!

xxxxxxx

hey everyone!

yes it has been forever since i last wrote but i've been so busy!

my holiday was great! didnt want to come home, altho i was missing Jackie n rach n phil lol!

i'll have to put one or two piccies up later on!

in other news, i have restocked the biorb, it now contains the following:

1 x pink parrot fish
4 x neon tetra
4 x feather fin catfish
4 x butterfly rams

and several plants n rocks, i'll take a pic soon!

also got myself a spankin new laptop yesterday, decided that i wanted to invest in a MacBook,

my intention was to purchase a MacBook air, but when i got to the shop, i asked the apple guy what he would recommend and he told me that the £829 version of the MacBook was the best value for money, and it had alot more memory etc, so thats the one i boiught, its amazin! i am still trying to master some of the stuff, but the basics im on top of lol, i bought myself a guide to go with it anyway, just so i can pick it up quicker lol!

hope you are all well, write a holiday memoir soon lol xxxx

well hi guys!

I'm off on holiday on monday, my flight is at 11am and i cant wait!

We are going to Altinkum in Turkey, this is my fourth time to turkey and this time me and david are taking my dad and my brother, its their first ever time abroad!

nope, they've never been on a plane, i'm excited for them lol!

So anyway, i'm off and i cant wait to go, i feel just ready to go, you know when you just feel like you need a holiday, well i do lol!

i'm gonna miss everyone, specially Jackie, Phil and Rach!

I'll see them all soon tho so i'll still enjoy myself lol!

annnnnnnndddd next June me and david have booked a nice, two week long, alinclusive holiday to Cuba!YAY! i'm really lookin forward to it lol!

not really got much else to say if i'm honest, apart from oooooohhhh BIG BROTHER!

i love it, i always bleedin do lol!

i think stuart is beautiful, i love him lol! i'd like him or rex to win, shame tho about last night, i thought that they would have put some hotter ladies in! don't get me wrong, the girls are stunners, but i was expecit lake playboy bunnys lol!

annnnnnnnnnnyway b4 i start going on and on and on and ooooooooonnnnnn about big brother, i hope you are all ok and i'll post some photo's when i get back!

lova you all

xXx

I'm sat in work,bored out of my skull,I onlÿ started 2 hours ago and I hav at least another 6 left,phil is in at 1 tho so that's a bit better!only 4 hours till he gets here and 5 till jax gets in,wish they were here now,god I'm so bored?!!

I'm gettin my tat finished on tuesday,I'l post a pic wen its done!

Also gettin my hair done on thurs,decided to go fully blonde and I'm gonna try the long concave bob look,rihanna's old style,It needs a gud cut but I can keep it long 2,well we'l just hav 2 w8 and c,its for my hols anyway,I go in 2weeks and 2days,monday 7th,and I think I really need it,I'm feelin miserable lol!I no y tho and I'm sure I'l be fine in time,I guess some things just take longer to heal than others,but everythin heals eventually,sometimes ur just left with a scar,there's always next time 4 me ay lol!

Anyway,I'm just listenin 2 the new ashanti album on my iPod touch,its gud!

I best get back 2 work,plus I'm on my blackberry agen and my bill will be huge lol!

C ya l8r!xxxx

Hey all,I'm pretty gud at the mo,sat in bed watchin big brother,once agen I'm hooked,lol,it happens every year!

Well its 3weeks 2day until I head off to sunny turkey,where at the moment its 42degrees!wow can't wait,went shopping 2day 2 get sum bits n bobs,and I'm collecting my travel money 2morrow,so yeah I'm alomst ready for it!I'm so excited,I think that I'm in desperate need of a holiday,and its exciting because my dad and my bro will be coming with us,its their first holiday too,so its gonna be even better!

My tattoo is almost finished now,just got some detail 2 add 2 it and that's on the 24th n then that's it! Plannin another 3 small ones though lol!we'll c how it goes,this ribcage one has almost put me off wantin another forever!

Well that's pretty much it from me at the moment,I'm sure I could rant on,but I'm using my blackberry lol,and I am bored!

C u all soon!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

well got my tattoo outline done, and here it is!

im having it colored(shaded) tomorrow at 6 and 7 and im preying it gets finished because omg it was sooooooo painful!

the top of the rib cage was absolute agony!

its bearable but holy crap it hurt, im so nervous for tomorrow now lol, i'm excited tho, cant wait to see my birdys come to life lol!

32 days till im off on holiday and oh my lord i cant wait!!!!!!

it'll be nice to show off my tattoo on the beach too lol!!

x x x x

well i am going for my FITH tattoo today, i'm booked in for 2 hors starting at 6 tonight!!

i am sooooooo nervous, never been this nervous about a tattoo b4, i guess its because im having it on my rib cage and i feel nervous about getting my kit off lol!

i'm going to use this tattoo as an incentive to become the 7 stone goddess i once was lol!(maybe not quite a goddess, but a hot mama lol!!!)

im excited to show it off on my hol's tho, no one cares if ur a lil' bit out of shape wen ur on ur jollies lol!

anyway its a large tattoo, and will probs take about 4 sessions to complete it, so im booked in for 4 2 hour sessions throughout June!!

and omg omg just over a month till im off to Turkey for two fabulous weeks of sun!

i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO exited u have no idea lol!!!!!!!

ive got almost everything that i need ready, and im pretty much ready to go, just need to sort my travel insurance and a couple of clothes n stuff, but other than that bring it onnnnnnnn lol!!!!

we hady Zak neutered last wednesday and it was a problem right from the start....

we thought his stitches had come undone because he was bleeding pretty bad, so we took him to the emergency vet after the united match on wednesday, we were in there for 15minutes, saw the vet who said everything looked ok and he would be fine, he gave us some cream, went to pay, and we were SHOCKED at the £96 bill we recieved!!!!!!!!

the things we do for our pets!

and if that wasnt bad enough, we had to take him back to the vets yesterday because his nut sack has swollen to the size of a grapefruit!

the vet gave us 2 lots of tablets to help release the fluid, and to help him heal faster, and he gave him an anti biotic shot too, the bill was ok this time as it was only £15, bloody £96 can you actually believe that!!

anyway, Max is getting bigger, huge infact lol, i'll have to post a picture, he is one shot away from being allowed to walk outside the garden, should be fun trying to control them both! im excited actually!!!!

Right! i need to get ready to take Zakky out!

write soon, and let you all know how my tattoo went!

xxxxxxxx

well i dont really have much to say, i feel a bit miserable, well i'll be honest, i feel very miserable today

god knows why, maybe its tryin to pretend all the time, or maybe im just sick of everyone!!!GRRRRR!!!!

i am sooooo fed up of everyone right now, jesus, people just bug me so much right now

im such a bitch

i'm sure i'll be fine soon lol, im just havin a bit of a hard time at the momet, u ever feel like u cant trust anyone, even your bestist friends in the world, thats kinda how i feel now, im just so glad i have my david, he loves me like no one else ever can, i see it everytime i look into his eyes, i feel so humble when im with him, and even tho im not as slim as i was, he always tells me he loves my curves!

:D

god i do love him, the sod lol!

i feel a bit better now, i'm gonna continue watchin my criminal minds season 2 boxset now lol, cuddled into my "reason to smile" - david

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

U.N.I.T.E.D UNITED ARE THE TEAM FOR ME!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOW!!

OMG what a win it was last night, chelsea did a good job of seein us off for a lil' while and if im honest i thought they had it in the bag, but, the mighty red army came, saw, and CONQUERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i love bein a manchunian, our team is so good, and it not just about the winnin, its about the whole team, they did us proud out there! lets make it a treble nest lads!!!!!!!

we went to old trafford after the match finished last night, and oh my god! it was amazin, we walked right threw and went outside the stadium, it was chaos but it was welllllllll gud, loved every minute!!!

anyway love to say sorry to the blues, but im not so i wont lol!!!!!

xxxxxxx

Hey all, hope everyone is doin gud,

i'm doin just fine!!! Watchin a bit of family guy and relaxin in the absolutely GORGEOUS weather!!!

hasn't it been just great all the sun we've had! i am burned like a lobster, but it's always worth it lol!

holiday in 8weeks!!!!!!!! cannot wait i've already planned loads of trip that i fancy, i really want to go scuba diving and snorkeling!

everything is grand in the BiOrb, i've got a couple of new fish, and i'm still under-stocked, so i have the option to get more if i want to!

Got a new addition in our family now too!! in the form of a 9 week old laradour puppy called MAX!! he is beautiful! our zakky likes him too, he was very warey at first although now he is totally in love with him!

money is going gud too at the moment and i treated myself to a wii fit when it came out a couple f weeks ago, im doin pretty good on it too lol!

annnnnyyyyway family guy calls and i cant resist it anymore lol!

i'll write again shortly xxxx

Well first of all, HHHHIIIIII! just incase you all forgot i was here lol, i'm sorry i've not written for agggggeeess, life's been mental!

It really has been a crazy month, some of it good and some of it bad i suppose, lets start at the beginning, i think its always a good place for anyone to start lol! Well i did a bad thing, but it was bound to happen at some point, and although i am glad it did happen, it was still wrong, you see i am a good girl, and i like to stick to my good girl ways if i can lol, but this one time i slipped up, big time!

I'm like a spoilt kid, i always want something more than what i've already got, so i never see that what i had in the first place was already enough, anyway thats the reason i think i slipped up, that and the way i've been feeling about this certain subject, but i suppose what's done is done, and there's no changing things now is there?!?

I always say, "It's better to regret the things you have done, than it is to regret the things you have not done!" and although i don't regret it, at least i'm not left wishing it would happen!

i need to get over this whole thing now though, because i am being so selfish, i need to let the person move on and stop holding them back, because i already have what they want so badly, and for me to prevent them from having it is simply unfair, let alone cruel of me. So as of right now, i shall pretend that the whole thing, right from day one was just a dream, and that none of it ever really happened (for their sake, not my own!).

Me and David have been arguing quite a lot, i hate it when we fight, but at the moment we are fighting loads, i think its my guilt that causes me to argue, so that he can hurt me inside a little, so i feel less guilty, but he wont, he loves me way too much, and i love him for it, i know we'll get over the silly fighting, we are engaged for god's sakes, and we're plannin on havin kids, so we kid of have to put our arguments aside for the sake of our future!lol!

on other fronts, one of our dog's passed away last wednesday, he was old, but it was sudden, he didn't act like an old dog, you would never have believed how old he was to look at him and he never once acted as if he was a day older than 3 lol! Unfortunately though he had a stroke, and there was nothing the vets could do for him, we had to have him put to sleep, it was the kindest thing we could do, and at least now he isn't suffering.

We decided that we wanted to have him cremated alone, and that we would like to get his ashes back in a small wooden casket that has his name engraved on the top, and we are planning on planting a bush/plant in the back garden to represent his life! (people do get attached to their pets, it shocking i know!)

Positive news now though lol! life in the BiOrb is doing great, and after having to empty the whole tank of water and fish, i have finally restocked, with a few new additions and some old ones!

We are also planning on getting an new puppy sometime soon, as the house is far too quiet without our other doggy, and our german shepherd misses him loads! we are thinking of getting the same be=reed as our last dog, a labrador, and we are definitely going to get a puppy rather than an older dog, so we can watch him grow again!

And finalllllly!!!! My FITH tattoo has been designed and finished (by my-wonderful-self) and i have given it to the pass on guy at work, who is taking it to the tattooist on wednesday next week, its a large tat, which i'm having on my ribcage (left) starting under my arm, and finishing just onto my hip bone!!

Its all colored, and it humming birds and a Phoenix with flowers in places (it looks better than it sounds!) and i think it will take a good few hours to complete, but with a bit of luck i@ll have it finished before i go on holiday on July 7th (which is getting closer woooop) because if not, i may look a liccul bit silly on the beach, with a half finished tattoo lol!

I'll update soon(ish) lol!

Keep safe x x x x x x x x x x x

hey all, i had a good weekend this weekend, went out with my mates n got arse holed on saturday lol! didnt turn in work the next day tho which was a naughty thing to do!?!?!

i was gonna go out on friday too, to a work gathering, but i was too poor and too tired lol! I wish i had now tho, cos somethin happened between my two friends, which i was a bit surprised about!

one went home with the other lol! yep i hate to admit it but i was a liccul bit jealous, but i made up 4 it kinda on sat, had a chat with my mate and i felt a bit better later on lol!

he is ded sweet to me bless him, i still dont know why tho, i guess i will neva no, there doesnt always have to be an alternative motive does there lol!

i have now decided that i am getting one more tattoo doe, a large one, down accross my ribcage and just onto my groin, im going to have blossom flowers, i have designed it myself, and i have sed that if i can lose at least a stone in 6 weeks then i will celebrate and have it done! if nt then i am going to have to wait untill i et back from my hols in july, which totally defies the point of havin it done, because i wont really get to show it off anywhere wlse other than the beach, and theres deffo no beaches in manchester lol!!!!!

oh yeh, my bag came from ebay and it is OMG GORGEOUS lol, really really happy with it lol!

life in the biOrb is great and the babies are doing very well

xxxx

I know i havent written for quite a while and to be honest i have no excuses lol!

since the last BiOrb update, i have had 7 new additions to my tank, in the for of baby guppies , and by the looks of things i will be expecting few more today, which is exciting but not very good for my fully stocked BiOrb lol!

Having the 60Litre is tons better and im finding it more fun, i have added loads of real plants which are thriving! i now have about 10 fully grown plants in there, and it looks great!i bought 25 live plants from ebay and they were great, too many for me mind you so i had to give my dad some for his tank! i also invested in 6 moss balls off ebay, only cost me a fiver, and when they arrived last week i stuck them in, and omg, they are great:D!

i added two new ornaments too, a large piece of bogwood, and a small fake tree trunk, along with the log that i had already, i also threw in a few more feng shui pebbles (different colours to the white ones i already had) and voila its like peering into an amozonian river:p!

the sucking loaches i have been given, have done an amazing job of keeping the tank crystal clear and my clown loaches are all glowing they are that fully coloured, which means that they are happy!

also i am still addicted to ebay and i won a stunning bag and a brand new pair of mary jane wedges off there last night! cannot wait for them to arrive!

anyway me n jax are going to phils tonight,which should be fun, if the last time was anything to go by lol:b!

i'll write soon i promise!

xxx

omg cant belive its been a week already!!!

nothin really to report but the BiOrb, its thriving, and still with no deaths so i am pretty chuffed

my dad has decided to set up his big tank and so i christened it today with a few fish out of the BiOrb, i am pleased he let me because i now have room for a couple of different fish, so we are taking a trip to the aquarium tomorrow, cant wait lol!:D

also tomorrow, i'm on a night out with my girlies and i cant wait, i am in desterate need of a sexy new top though lol, somethin girly and smart me thinks, i need to do a quick shopping trip tomorrow then lol!

got a cough at the moment, its driving me nutssssssss, its a tickly one as well lol!

oooohhh yeah and i forgot to mention the new addiction i have deleoped - EBAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i LOVE itD lol, i have spent £100 this week alone , got 25 LIVE PLANTS for the BiOrb - £4.25 woo, and a couple of other things for it, including,, a heater, pump, air curtain, plants, moss balls, and a filter fr my pop lol, also got some really realllllly great quality hair extensions from there, they saved me a fortune !!!

thats pretty much my week summed up lol, oh that and the fact im working 7 days a week, roll on good friday lol! x x x x x

FINALLLLY got my new 60Litre BiOrb today, i have finished setting it up but now it looks so bare i am at the doctors this afternoon at 5PM so when im done me and david are going to go to Pets At Home and get some plants and ornaments n wot not yay

I did get the day off today, but this was because of my doctors appointment which i have been trying to get for about 2months anyway its nothin serious i dont have leprosy or anything lol!

Treating ourselves to the original chinese from ashton tonight, i cant wait! its my favorite food and OMG this place does it like on one else, its truly an art-form lol!

Not had chinese for while now, because of my effort to become skinny, but i fancy it tonight nd so i am going to eat it! i dont care what people think anymore, i have david and he likes me just the way i am lol! plus im not fat fat, just put a bit of weight on my bones 'tis all lol!

been working alot recently, to pay for everything lol! but this week i am a loner, Phil is on 7 - 3 and Jackie is back an uni so i am all by myself! Phil has said he will come in early on saturday mind you and he said he will bring McDonalds (which is also one of my greatest weaknesses)and i hope he understands that i am going to have the whole package:

* 1 x Large 1/4 Pounder With Cheese (coke)
* 1 x Double Cheeseburger
* 1 x 6 Chicken Nuggets

Yum Yum Yum!

Looking forward to it Phil, And i will repay you with my company lolol!!!

Love Ash x x x x

WOOOOHOOOO got a biorb 60 litre on order FINALLY :-D !! should be here on Tuesday i think, and i cant wait!!

decided that i just want more room for my fishy friends lol and i want to put some more plants in and stuff, i am just getting the coldwater one and transferring the heater into my new one!

anyway really cant wait, i am thinking it may require a day off work and an extra bucket mind you, so i best get planning lol!!

Soooo if anyone wants to buy a pretty much new 30 Litre biOrb, leave a comment and i will see what i can do!

xxx

oh my god

i am wasted

thanks to rachel and nat (they r sisters)

i had agud night mind you, and its nice to go out and mingle wth other people other than david and work collegues

im glad rach aint goin repping in turkey now, i wud miss her terribly i love her and jax they are my bestist bestist bestist mates LOVE YOU TWO ENDLESSLY!!!!!!!

anyway chttin to phil on msn

wankerd i am

i will report tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxx

Well march hasn't really had the best start if im honest, its not been ba or anything, just not good lol! bills have started coming in as per usual, and as of yet i havent purchased my new BiOrb, needless to say this has made me mad even if its only tuesday lol!

work is driving me crazy as i feel i am constantly being patronised, my boss is bein weird at the moment, and i love him but i'm not the type to keep my mouth shut and take it - from anyone. I know that i should just be quiet and tae it on the chin bu i just cant help myself!! I think i must have a problem lol!

Just watching CSI:Vegas on channel Five, and its not as good as it used to be, i am not impressed anymore, but i still love it and i will still buy the box set religiously lol, speaking of box sets i need to watch the ret of my CSI:NY, i want the lost complete box set too, but im going to wait till the whole thing has finished and then get all seven seasons in the special box set, yeh i think thats a good decision lol!

anyway i cant think of anything else to write, so i might just leave it at that, oh apart from me and Jackie went to the sunbed, gym then sauna on Monday, and we are going to the sunbed and the gym tomorrow, im really enjoying the gym, but its not enough so as of monday i'm going on a calorie controlled diet and i am going to have 1200 calories a day and then cut it down to 1000 and see how that goes....

anyway goin to watch the end of CSI now and i'll keep u up2date with the diet lol x x x

well hi there, i know its been a couple of days since i last wrote but i have been working every hour i can to earn some spare pennys! its killed me this week actually, and with going to the gym through the week i have had no energy and i have been aching all over!! 

Jackie was hospitalised on wednesday night bless her, she has a hernia, i know wtf a hernia, i hope it wasn't the weights we lifted at the gym lol!!  she is out of hospital now though, no surgery news as of yet mind you, she could even come to our department to have it done, but we'll wait and see.

the biOrb is doing great, i have decided i am going to invest in the 60L for £108.00 from urmston aquatics and sell my 30L for £50 im going to get a better pump so i can have air stones and a bubble curtain in it, and more plants,!! i must admit that the reason for me wanting the 60L is that i have over stocked my tank !! i have never had a problem with water quality and ammonia but to be fair its just cruel on the fish and so i can only try to do right by them and make their home bigger!!

I am going to syphen all the water form the current biOrb into the new one and move all the filter media from the 30L into the 60L so that the tank wont be much different, i will of course need to add another 30 Litres to the new tank which will need to be treated and what not, but i am prepared to do it for my fishy friends!

i am hoping i will be able to do it at some point this week, but we'll have to see how i get on first, there isn't any rush but the sooner the better really! i am hoping i might be able to get two more fish in the new tank as well, but not 100% on tht yet, as i think that it might be perfect as it is already!

anyway not got much else to report, having a few crazy thoughts about a certain someone at the moment, but i have slapped myself and i am now feeling much better lol!!!!

I will write again soon but i have to go and walk the beastie now (the dog) lol!!!!!!

~x~X~x~

Hey all, had my tattoos done yesterday and here are the pics:
This tattoo is running down the top of my spine, starting at the ball of my neck and running down to the middle of my back, it is in a arabic writing and it says "From the stars we came and to the stars we shall return" i am really pleased with it, and it looks a bit wonky at the top but thats just the way my neck is pulling the skin lol!

This is for me and my fiance davud, we have been together 4 years and going strong so i decided to celebrate it lol! i know people say its not a good idea to have a boyfriendss name/initials tattooed on to you buti felt that this was the right thing to do and i am happy i have  

hi all, just a quick snippet before i go to the gym, yes thats right i hav finally gone and joined the gym wooohooo!!this is the 3rd time i have been since monday and thats my aim, to go at least 3 times a week, i am in agony from going yesterday, but no pain no gain as they say.

it was BiOrb trauma yesterday, i woke up to find one of my neons trapped beneath the filter medis!!!! i freed his as guick as i could and he appeared to be ok, very beaten up though! as of last night he was alive, i havent checked yet, but i am about to, the other thing was that my male molly was verry sad yesterday evening he was just sat down at the bottom, but when i fed them he swam up, maybe he was tired?i Dunno?

did a HUGE clean out yeaterday, took everything out and scrubbed it all clean,it looked so much better afterwards, i will post a picture eventually lol! OHHHHH and before i forget i have two pregnant Guppys wooohoo, they are ready to drop i think, ant thats the main news i think lol!!

oh oh oh ye i forgot i am having two new tattoo's dont on monday and i will post pics to show you them when i get home from the tattoo parlour! wish me look, its goung to hurt lol!!! x x x

oh yeah p.s i got a new phone, BlackBerry 8120, its ok, not quite what i was expecting mind you lol! x x

sometimes i dont know how i feel, one minute i think everything is how i want it and that i am truly happy, and then then next i feel sad and lonley i guess this is just life, the way things go and all that jazz, but it confuddles the hell out of me.  How do you know if you have made the right choices and decisions in your life, what if you have made the wrong ones, you can never change the past, you can only change the here and the now, which in the long run will affect your future, so you have to be careful what decisions you make everyday, dont live your life worrying though, because then you will never truly live your life.

i am just rambling on about spiritual crap