Hey all, had my tattoos done yesterday and here are the pics:
This tattoo is running down the top of my spine, starting at the ball of my neck and running down to the middle of my back, it is in a arabic writing and it says "From the stars we came and to the stars we shall return" i am really pleased with it, and it looks a bit wonky at the top but thats just the way my neck is pulling the skin lol!

This is for me and my fiance davud, we have been together 4 years and going strong so i decided to celebrate it lol! i know people say its not a good idea to have a boyfriendss name/initials tattooed on to you buti felt that this was the right thing to do and i am happy i have  

hi all, just a quick snippet before i go to the gym, yes thats right i hav finally gone and joined the gym wooohooo!!this is the 3rd time i have been since monday and thats my aim, to go at least 3 times a week, i am in agony from going yesterday, but no pain no gain as they say.

it was BiOrb trauma yesterday, i woke up to find one of my neons trapped beneath the filter medis!!!! i freed his as guick as i could and he appeared to be ok, very beaten up though! as of last night he was alive, i havent checked yet, but i am about to, the other thing was that my male molly was verry sad yesterday evening he was just sat down at the bottom, but when i fed them he swam up, maybe he was tired?i Dunno?

did a HUGE clean out yeaterday, took everything out and scrubbed it all clean,it looked so much better afterwards, i will post a picture eventually lol! OHHHHH and before i forget i have two pregnant Guppys wooohoo, they are ready to drop i think, ant thats the main news i think lol!!

oh oh oh ye i forgot i am having two new tattoo's dont on monday and i will post pics to show you them when i get home from the tattoo parlour! wish me look, its goung to hurt lol!!! x x x

oh yeah p.s i got a new phone, BlackBerry 8120, its ok, not quite what i was expecting mind you lol! x x

sometimes i dont know how i feel, one minute i think everything is how i want it and that i am truly happy, and then then next i feel sad and lonley i guess this is just life, the way things go and all that jazz, but it confuddles the hell out of me.  How do you know if you have made the right choices and decisions in your life, what if you have made the wrong ones, you can never change the past, you can only change the here and the now, which in the long run will affect your future, so you have to be careful what decisions you make everyday, dont live your life worrying though, because then you will never truly live your life.

i am just rambling on about spiritual crap now i nkow, but wel who the hell can stop me, i mean this is a blog where i write things about my life, and how i feel, so from now on thats what i intend to do, write how i feel, starting now.

well a few months ago i had a pretty rough time, one of the hardest times of my life infact, unexpectedly in early september i found out i was 7 weeks pregnant with my first child, needless to say that i was shocked, but i was happy at the same time, it wasnt planned but i was really really pleased.  things were ok at first, i felt great, a few simptoms,slight morning sickness and the usual, and i was starting to eat healthily, we decided to tell people, even though next time i have decided i will wait untill i am at least 3 and a half months, because late september i went to a&e with pains on the left side and i know this could be serious, the scanned me and said all was fine apart from having a small 'harmless' cyst in the left tube, she didnt seem concerend at all, but they wanted to give me a check up in ten days time just to be sure, these were the worst ten days of my life, everyday i worried, and i said that i knew something was wrong, everyone kept telling me i was worryng too much and  that everyhing would be ok, but when the tenth day came, nothing was fine, everthing was wrong, they told me that i was having a miscarriage, and that the baby had died, i was devastated and so was david, we cried all day and all night, they told me that i had three options:

1. to naturally miscarry and let things happen on their own
2.To take a pill that would bring the miscarriage on sooner
3.Surgery, D&C, to remove all products of conception

i wanted to wait  to let things happen on their own, and so i waited two weeks, and it was horrific, everyday was the same, i bled non stop, and i had to be scanned once a week to see if it had passed completley, each time they said no it hadnt iand i had to wait again, eventually this became too much for me and i decided to go for option number 3, they told me this could improve my chances of going full term next time and other things that finally persuaded me, it was awful afterwards, i felt such a failure, eben though i know that i did nothing wrong and that this was natures way of telling me it wasnt time.

A lot of people think that a miscarriage is something you can get over so easily, but it isnt, it is a hard thing to go through, like a death in the family, nobody knows wht to say to you but they are all talking about you, everybody thinks you are fine, but really you arent, you just need to talk to somebody who has been through the same thing as you to actually begin to heal, luckily for me i did have tht person and she helped me so much without knowing, i Am gratefuL to her (thankyou).my david found it hard to talk to me too, but he was always there for me, and i was hard to handle then, i love him endlessly for sticking by me, thankyou david.

things are better now but last year was hard, debt, loss and death, a friend of mine died in a car accident on december 22nd 2007, this was such a shock to me as he was only 18, a baby, we used to very close friends, but we grew apart with time, we stll spoke and i still card for him, and i will miss him dearly, thats why when i have my new tattoo i will dedicate it to him, it will say "from the stars we came and to the stars we shall return" and although it isnt for him i have decided to dedicate it to him, and the others i have lost.

listen to me rambling on about all this morbidness, but i just wanted to give you an insight into the hard times in my life so that now, i can share the happy times with you all too lol
 
thank you for listening/reading my ramblings and i appricieate all comments i have recieved lol

xxx

I have decided that i have insomnia, i am awake at 3.33AM again, it was the same last night, this is frustrating because i end up staying in bed until late, and then my day is over and before i know it i am in work  i have no idea why i cant sleep, i just simply cant, maybe i have something on m ymind that i am uncertain of. .. .. ... .. . i dont know  but i do know i cant take it anymore!

i really enjoy sleeping so i dont understand why my mind wont let me, my body is so tired i will be fine and maybe if i got off this bloody computer and stayed doff facebook long enough i would be alright lol!

 On a ligher note, i got some new EMU Austrailia boots today, they are pretty much the same as the UGG's but thses were a little bit cheaper they are sooooo nice, i love them, i got the 'stinger Lo' ones as i already have a pair of the knee high ones, these are just perfect, and OMG so comfy!

I also treated myself to some new Gym stuff, a tracksuit and a bag and what not, i absolutly adore my bag tho, its Puma and its b-e-a-u-tiful (as tigger would say lol)! and i am re-joining on friday, so i cant wait, i am so going to get myself back into shape, as i have gained a few pounds  and i dont want to be wading accross the beach in July, i would much rather just glide  i want that size zero kind of body, yes thats my goal, only jokin, not quite that thin, maybe a six or an eight, but eitherway weiht loss is weight loss, your friends never say yeh you do look fat now, because thay are trying to be nice, but what kind of friend lets you go out looking a right fat cow lol??

i must stress i do not have a problem with obese/malnurished people, nor do i have any issues with my life, i would simply love to have the body of a goddess (or at leas like it was 18months ago haha) it will improve my life endlessly, and i belive this is the way forward - thinner is bettr for me hear hear!!

The fish are doing very well, the tank looks simply stunning after the water change, and i think that he white spot is going, i will make sure i give them the second dose of medicind on thursday though, just to be sure, i hve decided that i now want to get the 60litre biOrb, i am gutted that i didnt get it in the first place like i planned to, it was there at the till an everything but then i changed my mind (silly silly girl!!!!), i am in no rush though, but i am definately going to get one at some point. i never realised just how relaxing the fish are, i sit there for hours just watching them, i love it when the LED light changes from day to dusk, it really is stunning, i love it when i walk by/near the tank ALL the fish swim to the fron to see mummy (really they are begging for food, but i feed them teice a day!!!) haha i do love it when they do that!

and finally, the other half is ill, he has not been off the 'loo' all night, for gods sake i am so sick of sick peopl, and i am sorry if that seems selfish or unkind but, what the hell is going on, everywhere you turn someone is ill or dying, its all too miserable for me, i prefer the happier things in life i cant wait for my holiday, i am so looking forward to it, woo hoo July come quicker!!! we are off to turkey for the fourth year running and i adore it there, alot of people dont like it, or dont fancy going, but the country is simply beautiful, my faveorite pplace i have ever been to is Side prounounced seeday, and its gorgeous there, tons and tons to do and its for everyone, we are going to altinkum this year, we havent been there before, but i am excited to try something new, and for those of you who are considering turkey, we paid £200.00 for TWO WEEKS bed and breakfast, hotel, transfers, flights from July 7th - July 21st, thats a bargain, and the hotel looks nice too!!

so if you are thinking of going away then i suggest turkey, definately without a doubt give it a try!!!

i m going to try and sleep now, as i feel i have poured my heart out n here now and this might help me sleep lol!! nighty nighty or good mornin, which ever suits you best,

write soon luv ashley x x x

Well hi there, its been a while ay?  wel not really got that much to catch up on, as all i seem to do all day everyday is work and go online  i am boring.  wll friday i went to my best mate Jackies house and we were joined by zoe a few bottles of wine and a few good laughs later i returned to my humble abode to prepare to work on saturday :-( work was ok, nothing special, did a bloody 3hour course but it felt about 5 hours!!! mind you i got paid to sit and do nothing the whole time, so it wasnt that bad really!

After work we drove to asda to get a bucket, as i wanted to do a water change in the BiOrb, it wa successful, altho one of my gourami's did get sucked into the hoover for about 5 seconds, until my loving hand set him free :-) he is fine, the white spot seeps to have returned and i treated them last night, and i will need to treat them again on thurday, bloody white spot i cant belive it! i added some new stuff to the Biorb on saturday as well, i got those feng shui rock ings, £4.50 they were i got the white ones, but they look really really nice, i also added an ornament, its like a log with some fake plants on it, they are silk though so they go ok with the real ones i have.  All in all the BiOrb is going well and no deaths yet, fingers crossed!!!

and finally WOOOOHOOOO PARTAAAY on saturday at the VIp lounge in a club in town, cant wait, its my friend Zoe's Birthday and she gave me an invite, god love her, so i am so excited, i got my new dress today its nice,a bit different for me mind you, but its ok for the occasion, good job i had shoes to go with it ho lol!!!!

P.S valentines day, cant wait going to frankie n bennys at the trafford centre, and david has a surprise for me!!what could it beeee!??!? cant wait to find  out lol, dont worry i will report back ;-)

xXx

looking very happy now, i want some neons and a couple of guppys

hi all, well you wont belive this, but my friend Phil Read, will be joining us at bog.co.uk, he was adamant that he wuoldn't join but after a couple of hours of persuading him over MSN messenger, he decided joinin was in his best interests!

He is going to post anonymously and has said i have to 'guess' who he is, so this is my goal for today, i know i will find him because he is going to leave small clues regarding kissing a woman older than his mother and snippets out of his own mothers sex diarys, at the time of writing this phil and i were still discussing his future blog and he didnt realise i was telling the world his sauded little secrets lolol! anyway, look for yourselves, see if you can find phil first (and if you do post a comment below!!!)

x

  Well i wen to the pet shop to buy a few neons tonight (i know you are supposed to wait 28 days befor addind another set of fish but i couldnt wait) and wel i didnt buy any, instead i bought two dwarf gourami fish and two regular sized gourami, now i thought this may be too many fish (as the two regular sizr gourami are medium sized) but i told the guy in the aquarium what tank i had and that i had 4 mollys currntly living in it, and he said that things should be fine, so i took his word for it and pID £12 for my four new fishys.

  put them into the tank as directed, and all appears ok, a little shocked from the change of scenery i guess, but other than that they were all happy, the mollys were very interested though, they swam right over to see what was in the floating bag invading their home, as they have settled in great!! i am really pleased so far, i will be adding the new ceramic media that i have bought tomorrow and i may do a partial water change but not sure yet as the gourami's will need to settle,we will have to see how the day goes!

  Anyway dont plan on adding anymore fish, i dont want to put anymore strain on the current inhabitents, but i do think that i will nip into the aquarium tomorrow and maybe get an ornament rocks of some sort for the fish to hide in, and maybe a couple more plants!

 Anyway i will update tomorrow if i do hapen to go to the aquarium, i will just have to see what spending money i have left lol (wages) as i dont want to end up broke as a joke lol!

P.S prison brea was on at 10pm - wow it is really heating up, i love it when the story really starts, cant wait till next week!! CSI Vegas tomorrow wup wup!!

well i have just watched the first episode of lost season four and my god!!!!!!!!........ IT.WAS.AMAZING!!! i cant wait until next sunday ( i usually hate sundays but not anymore lol) it ended so well, to anyone who reads this who doesnt watch lost or doesnt think it wil be 'them' - you are wrong go and rent/buy it now and u wull NOT regret it - i swear!

prison break tomorrow.sky one.10PM. cant wait, another of my addictions, micheal schofield is yummy, and also the TV series is amazing, and for once i can actually watch it with my ther half, thats right 'the David' likes prison break!!! (also go and rent/buy if you haven't seen it!!)

and finally tuesday - wohoo CSI Vegas season 8 - my third addiction, i am a CSI Addict, i have every episode of EVERY CSI there is available on DVD, cant wait for tues now lol!!

my weeks TV guide:

sunday - Lost Season Four - skyone 9pm

Monday - Prison Break Season 3 - skyone 10pm

Tuesday - CSI Vegas Season 8 - Channel Five 9pm

woo hoo i love TV

x

well the weekend is over again, and i have finished my long shifts, until next weekend that is, i am back on evenings tomorrow, cannot be botherd but money makes the world go round lol.

i need to join the gym, it is becoming a serious issue now, i have take away at least SIX times a week, this is affecting my figure - i hate this. i have picked my gym and i like what you can do with tha package, sauna, fitness classes, gym, swimmin, the lot! and all for £25 a month - with no fixed contract-this is more my style.

we went to see cloverfield last night, it was ok, not as good as i was expecting, i wont give anything away but yes you do get to see a few steady shots of the monster, i liked the way that it was filmed (as if it was recorded by a video camera) i think it worked well, but ive heard alot of people sayin they get motion sickness from it (bollocks if u ask me) im easily affected by motion sickness, i cant even drive to the trafford centre (which is like 2 miles from my house) without feeling a bit ill, and the camera work didnt bother me once. anyway, it was an OK film, i wil be buyin it on DVD (as i have a slight probem with buying DVD's at the moment) when it is released, but i wouldnt get too excited about it if you ar planning on paying a visit to the cinema.

the mollys are doing great!!! non of them are dead (yet), they all appear to be well and healthy, i have tested the water everyday since i put them in the tank and all is stable, the white spot appears to be vacating the biOrb, but i know its probably spreading like wild fire in there lol,they are due for another dose of medication tomorrow, and i tink that should do it, if things go well then i may have a couple more little fishys in there by the end of the week!

i must say i am pleased with how everything is looking with the biorb at the moment, the water is looking an awful lot clearer and as i previously said all four mollys seem ok. one thing though, i think my plants might be dying, i have heard that live plants are hard to keep in the biOrb, for what ever reason, and i really didnt want plastic because real plants help oxygenate the tank, but needless to say if the plants keep dying i will have to resort to the plastic way or life . . . . .

Right, so i have put the whitespot treatment into the tank and things should be on the up an up from here (she says with a concerning look upon her face!) the tank went a bit blue for about 20 mins but its normal again, this is apparantly normal, anyway hope all goes well.

me n the other half are off out tonight, pizza hut i think lol, i love him the baby boy, he always tries, we are going to see cloverfield tomorrow, i would have liked to have gone tonight but he doesn't fancy the crowds lol. . . he is trying to clean up, making more mess if you ask me, he is stomping around like a walrus with a face on him, asking why i am using the computer still!! this is the man i intend to marry .........................

x

 here are a couple of pix of the fishy's and the biOrb

Well the all four of the molly's are alive still, and looking OK, but, well one has white spot - damn it !! now this isnt anything to lose sleep over, but it is an inconvinience, the poor little buggers, i mean its obviously spread from the pet shop, my tank water is fine, i have tested it about 3 times a day.

Its really not a good day for me actually, i was supposed to have my new lot of contact lenses by now but guess what. . . they haven't arrived, and i have ran out! the only ones i have got are the ones i am using, which have something on the left lense, grease or something. anyway they aren't open of the weekend and i this means i will have to wait another two days at least!!!

On a lighter note i have just eaten a verrrry yummy scrummy chicken wrap, gosh it was so nice, filled with cheese and mayonnase, and warmed under the grill. . . . yum yum yum! and now i have finished i think i should go and put the white spot treatment into the BiOrb, i really bloody hope it works!

OK, so this is my first blog, and i intend to stick to it. Its been a long whike since i kept a diary or anything remotely like one, so my plan is to use this as a kind of diary, and share it with all of you!

BiOrb

So today is thursday 31st January, and today i have had quite an exciting day lol! I bought my first fishes for my new biOrbD ( which i bought and set up on monday) i feel that after cycling the tank for a couple of days and testing its Ph levels etc, it is ready to be tested with actual fish. I am so afraid for them, i do think things will be OK, but in the back of my mind i am petrified for the lil' guys, as its common for you're first set of fish to swim on to waters bluer (if you understand me ) I will feel so guilty if they do, but i really am trying to give them the best life. I know alot of people dont like the BiOrb because they say its cruel, but i dont intend to over stock my little 30litre tank, hence why i have got four orange mollies, and hopefully i will add about 4 guppys, and that should be enuough, although if i am honest i really want to get a pair of dwarf puffer fish - but we will wait and see!!

Other News . . .

nothing really on the other news front today, i m stil addicted to facebook. . . after all these months. Oh actually yes there was a firxt today, Zak my 2 1/2 year old German Shepherd has developed a sleep talking problem, i heard it this evening and jesus i thought somehting was wrong - no he was just mumbling in dog language, probably chasing the neighbours cat as usual!!

i'll report tomorrow on the status of the mollies - fingers crossed ay!!! x x