Well first of all, HHHHIIIIII! just incase you all forgot i was here lol, i'm sorry i've not written for agggggeeess, life's been mental!

It really has been a crazy month, some of it good and some of it bad i suppose, lets start at the beginning, i think its always a good place for anyone to start lol! Well i did a bad thing, but it was bound to happen at some point, and although i am glad it did happen, it was still wrong, you see i am a good girl, and i like to stick to my good girl ways if i can lol, but this one time i slipped up, big time!

I'm like a spoilt kid, i always want something more than what i've already got, so i never see that what i had in the first place was already enough, anyway thats the reason i think i slipped up, that and the way i've been feeling about this certain subject, but i suppose what's done is done, and there's no changing things now is there?!?

I always say, "It's better to regret the things you have done, than it is to regret the things you have not done!" and although i don't regret it, at least i'm not left wishing it would happen!

i need to get over this whole thing now though, because i am being so selfish, i need to let the person move on and stop holding them back, because i already have what they want so badly, and for me to prevent them from having it is simply unfair, let alone cruel of me. So as of right now, i shall pretend that the whole thing, right from day one was just a dream, and that none of it ever really happened (for their sake, not my own!).

Me and David have been arguing quite a lot, i hate it when we fight, but at the moment we are fighting loads, i think its my guilt that causes me to argue, so that he can hurt me inside a little, so i feel less guilty, but he wont, he loves me way too much, and i love him for it, i know we'll get over the silly fighting, we are engaged for god's sakes, and we're plannin on havin kids, so we kid of have to put our arguments aside for the sake of our future!lol!

on other fronts, one of our dog's passed away last wednesday, he was old, but it was sudden, he didn't act like an old dog, you would never have believed how old he was to look at him and he never once acted as if he was a day older than 3 lol! Unfortunately though he had a stroke, and there was nothing the vets could do for him, we had to have him put to sleep, it was the kindest thing we could do, and at least now he isn't suffering.

We decided that we wanted to have him cremated alone, and that we would like to get his ashes back in a small wooden casket that has his name engraved on the top, and we are planning on planting a bush/plant in the back garden to represent his life! (people do get attached to their pets, it shocking i know!)

Positive news now though lol! life in the BiOrb is doing great, and after having to empty the whole tank of water and fish, i have finally restocked, with a few new additions and some old ones!

We are also planning on getting an new puppy sometime soon, as the house is far too quiet without our other doggy, and our german shepherd misses him loads! we are thinking of getting the same be=reed as our last dog, a labrador, and we are definitely going to get a puppy rather than an older dog, so we can watch him grow again!

And finalllllly!!!! My FITH tattoo has been designed and finished (by my-wonderful-self) and i have given it to the pass on guy at work, who is taking it to the tattooist on wednesday next week, its a large tat, which i'm having on my ribcage (left) starting under my arm, and finishing just onto my hip bone!!

Its all colored, and it humming birds and a Phoenix with flowers in places (it looks better than it sounds!) and i think it will take a good few hours to complete, but with a bit of luck i@ll have it finished before i go on holiday on July 7th (which is getting closer woooop) because if not, i may look a liccul bit silly on the beach, with a half finished tattoo lol!

I'll update soon(ish) lol!

Keep safe x x x x x x x x x x x